Monday, May 2, 2011

Stealth Agent...

... Or Snotty Cow, you decide!

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend, don't worry i'll explain the title, no keeping you in suspense today

So my weekend consisted of playing stealth undercover agent as i tried to maneuver my first wedding without a + one as you see my + one was the Best Man!

*** I will be back at lunch with more wedding photos!

Before i get to my recap, I'm going to make a confession... In real life i'm a bit shy

It used to be really bad, i mean, before i would make a phone call i would write down what i wanted to say so i wouldn't get flustered

The real turning point for my shydom (new LRT word, i should start a LRT dictionary!) was in College when i attended a small campus of a larger college and i knew all my teachers and fellow students and started to become very confident in who i was growing up to be, i remember giving a speech to be a member of the student council in front of the whole college, a speech, in front of people and i didn't pass out, hello progress! (plus i was totally voted in over several other candidates, yay me)

But lately with BF being in this wedding i've realized that when in social situations with lots of people I don't know very well I revert to shydom and come of as a giant snobby snotty bitch

I avoid eye contact with everyone but my iPhone, my phone is my awkward crutch, technology has seriously set us shy people back many years!

I'm very pleasant when people start conversations with me but i'm nowhere near the happy, bright, funny girl i am in real life

The real me lurks somewhere hidden behind the bored looking eyes and the constant sighs

One on one situations and small groups with people i know, i am chatty, amusing and take most conversations to "the dirty place", i laugh loudly and smile with my eyes

But if we are in a large group and i don't know you well you won't get to see this part of me and i apologize for that

This is something I want to work on and for everyone that reads this blog that actually "knows me" thanks for being patient and discovering the real me, for those who don't and have come across me and maybe thought i was a little rude, i apologize and hopefully reading this blog gives you a little insight into what i'm really like and maybe one day i'll show you the charmer that is lurking under here

Okay, enough self realization confession time! Lets talk weekend recap

Friday: After a long day of having Royal Wedding fun at work, I attempted to dress shop which resulted in nada, then i decided to cheer myself up by attempting a new self tanner since we haven't exactly had much sunshine here in Ontario to get that sunkissed glow i like having at fancy events

The self tanner (which shall remain nameless) came in the form of cloths and left with me a horrible smell and no tan at all, WTF?  I did have orange-ish hands though, i called them my oompa loompa mittens

Rest of the night was spent being stinky, eating pizza and taking a late night run to Dairy Delite and inhaling what is the most perfect raspberry sundae ever, mmmmmm - BF always knows to cheer me up with hugs and dessert!

Saturday: I drove BF to Stoneycreek, did some shopping for something to wear and ended up with too many dresses, and then before you knew it, it was wedding time so i hauled my pretty party dressed self back to Stoneycreek and watched our good friends get their Happily Ever After - awwwww :o)

Sunday: Slept as late as possible which was only 8am, sigh!  Then it was time to get ready for another party - I baked cupcakes from scratch for my little sisters 30th birthday, woot woot!

Had a lovely lunch with my family, got my nails done with my mum and sister, (it becoming a lovely tradition for us 3), then my mum helped me deocrate cupcakes and it was BBQ party time

I had a great time hanging out with my dad, playing with my furry neiece, kidding with my mum and watching my sister get showered with love for her special day

However, it wasn't just my sisters special day it was my lovely mum-in-laws birthday so i made sure to make her some special cupcakes just for her though i'm pretty sure you are reading this Norm and i know you had at least one ;o)  

Then it was finally home time for some snuggles with the furry baby and vedge on the couch and catch up on all my lovely blogs I had abandoned over the weekend


So like i mentioned my BF was Best Man for one of our good friends this weekend so i was left to navigate a wedding all by my lonesome, here are my tips for surviving this kind of social situation

1. Is your + one at the wedding day breakfast?  Thats okay, drag your parents over to your house for 2 hours to help you pick out a dress since you might have bought 5 in the span of 30 minutes and you don't think ANY of them look good!

2. When you arrrive find out the location of your best man BF before asking a weddng planner who insists on using his walkie talkie to track him down with the following conversation

Planner: "Sam* to John*, Sam to John.... John, i have a woman here who needs to find the groom and speak to him immediately"

Donna: "ummmm hello?, I want the Best Man"

Planner: "Don't worry maam, saying you are looking for the groom will find him faster"

Donna (in her head): Yeah but it also makes the coat check girls think i'm some floozy making a last minute grab for the groom before he gets hitched!

I definitely got some dirty looks as i walked to the grooms suite and nabbed our DSLR so i could take some pictures instead of aiding in the release of runaway groom

* I changed their names to protect the identity and because, well, i can't remember what they actually were

3. Show up late enough that you don't have to sit alone for half an hour waiting for other guests to show up but not late enough that when everyone is seated and they have run out of chairs so an usher has to noisily grab you one while everyone stares... awkward!

4. Try not to sit next to nosy nelly who insists on watching you fidget in your dress that your dad picked out, watched you type this post on your iPhone and peeked at all your Aruba photos you notice BF has left on the camera, next time you should advise the usher you want to sit beside someone shy, preferably one staring at their iphone!
5. Make sure you wear a loose dress in preparation for the appetizers + 6 course dinner which most definitely results in a food baby - that way you don't have to feel awkward at a table of people you don't know who all know each other AND be self concious about your expanding belly

6. Keep a wine glass in your hand at all times - when the waiter asks if you are done, grip the stem tighter and explain you are sitting alone and let them give you a kind look, fill that sucker back up, and slowly back away

7. When you are left sitting on your own, just keep your eyes on your man and imagine your own wedding and how amazing it will be... you might surf a few wedding dress sites on your iPhone as well, what can i say, I was just pre planning, at least i didn't start a list! 

8. For a little added adventure, start taking silly self portraits with your iPhone and sending them to BF at the head table, this is the only G rated one i could find, hahahaaa!

Okay friends, I have some serious recipe and photography to do this week, I don't have a single recipe for you this post, but i will make up for it tomorrow, pinky swear!

So in conclusion, thanks for letting me smile with my blog and always always go "to the dirty place" teeheheee

Donna xox